“… Sadness gives roots. Happiness gives branches. … Both are needed, and the higher a tree goes, the deeper it goes… In fact, it is always in proportion. That’s its balance.” Osho Japanese Zen master, thanks to Paper Ponderer.
So, now I don’t feel so bad after having been happy and sad in equal measure in Bristol at babe last weekend. As always in life, nothing is perfect and we don’t really appreciate the good time without the counterbalance of the not so good times. Like in my little dance, there’s ups and there’s doons.
On the Saturday I spoke with about 30 people about my work and ideas and many, predominantly those with a background in graphics, loved some aspect of my work but like most artist-types, they had no spare cash to spread.
OK, time for a rethink.
I had put all my eggs in one basket- BABE 2015, which I had looked forward to since BABE 2013. https://apulhed.wordpress.com/2015/04/08/86881/ Most of my ideas had been focussed on two new books, one for BABE 2015 launch.
There’s little point banging my head against a brick wall for the rest of my days and the art-world in all its manifestations is as a brick built juggernaut which I clambered onto in the 70’s and 80’s but fell off and now it trundles on without me. I been over-looked, left behind and all that ‘sadwimpy me’ stuff. I am aware that I should pretend that selling one G BATCH is tantamount to a victory, which it is inasmuch that one person took to it enough to buy one but Honesty is my middle name. Honesty is a simple plant , a bit like my self. And am sure he’ll enjoy G BATCH, like the 5 folk who came to my gig appeared to, honest. And so did I. So, if I look at what I really enjoyed it’d be the ‘gig’ & jig and the chat with all those who expressed interest in my works. My favourite moment was watching Nancy Campbell & Donna Williams do their readings. Donna used signing (BSL) to ‘say’ her poems as she’s deaf and I loved her dance like hand movements. Nancy read some of her Greenlandic words and their English translations and she posed beautifully with her pages. My second favourite moment was talking to my pot and dancing my whirligig to a packed hall of 5 onlookers. Two longstanding friends and three women who were experiencing my dulcet tones for their first time.
I gottu ‘do watti got to do, come on and see me when you can. I was looking for that Nina Simone track ‘Come Back and see me when you can’ on utube but couldn’t trace it. But I found this Wailing Jennings track which is sad but lovely and it seems the person who uploaded it thought Wail-on must have aimed high with the women he wished for, or did he have them then lose loose them? Then Wail on Jennings! Anyhow, I aimed high and now I seem to have scorched my wings.
Pete’s Rede..ready..Reed-Read Poem:
I must ree
Re treat from artist’s books events
Re cite my poems again where I can
Maybe I shud
Re price my wares better
Re novate my spirit
Re sight my activities to venues more appropriate to their wide remit
Re prise, simply, my 1970’s books now Apul-One is having its 40th birthday
Re ignite my solo exhibitions in libraries so I can exhibit my big pictures as well as books
Re concile myself to the fact my work is not attracting punters and fellow artist book makers
Re clude and retink my output
Re uniting with a old college friend for the first time in 20 years was great
Re instate my performances
Re figure my mailing list (tick the box, done today)
Re voke my desire to inform all in sundry just post my blArts and let folks find em IF they so wish
Re constitute the mix of my output
Re vive my hopes
Re negotiate my position
Re linquish my wish to join the gods of ‘art’ and just be me
Re birth I am born again now I see my past arts more clearly and
Re nascence I have taken a new look at life to
Re quire a fee or a burse-a-ree
Re view of where I been and wur am goin and wur I stand
Re member to thank Dave D. for his great company and his filming ma wee dance
Re appraise my place in it all and I shall
Re surrect my work and let you see it but
Re vived in new formats as I shall outline in my nex blArt, Ohh Bee Joy Full (w/e 24th Avril)
De tox not needed as I don’t imbibe
De tension myself, don’t expect so much just be there and enjoy the atmosphere
De light in the positives forgit the negatives or just use them to learn from
De railed was my idea that I was getting ‘out there’ and coming thru
De livery of my ‘show’ did occur just ask one of the 5 who saw it
De luded no more now I know my stuff isn’t sell (at least I can’t sell out!)
De terminated I shall shift my focus making most of my books into ‘one off unique’ objects
See you again sometime way up along that Inscrutable Destiny Way.
You can see my artlife history here: https://apulhed.wordpress.com/about/ and ‘ta’ to G E Gallas fer liking it, you are a supreme artiswomanhonoraryblokepersonage
Ohh Bee Joy Full